A few months ago, I turned 40. It happened during one of the busiest times of the year for me—work deadlines, ongoing projects, family commitments—leaving no time to process the milestone. Yet, turning 40 is one of those ages that naturally invites reflection. It feels significant, as if you’ve reached a point in life where you’re supposed to take stock of where you’ve been and where you’re heading.
In Finland, where I live, the average life expectancy for women places 40 pretty close to the midpoint. Of course, genetics and luck will play their part, but it’s a reminder that I’m standing at the threshold of the second half of my life.
Luckily, during the festive season, I found a pocket of time to reflect. And as someone who’s naturally optimistic—glass half full type of person—I looked back and forward with a positive mindset.
Feeling Younger Than Expected
First, I realized something surprising: I feel much younger than I expected to at 40. My university years don’t feel that far away. I was 16 years old when my mom turned 40, and I remember thinking of her as “older”. Now that I’m here myself, I don’t feel that way at all. It’s hard to explain, but there’s something comforting about this sense of youthfulness.
Career-wise, it hasn’t been a smooth ride, but I’ve found myself on a rewarding path. I’ve grown, developed new skills, and had opportunities to work on projects that matter to me. Yet, despite all of this, I can’t shake the feeling that I’m not as successful as I thought I would be by now.
Redefining My Idea of Success
At first, I thought this feeling of “falling short” was about money. I don’t have as much of it as I imagined I would after all these years of hard work. But here’s the thing: I’ve never been someone who’s driven by money. Financial goals have always felt difficult for me to set because money isn’t what motivates me. For me, money has always been a by-product of doing meaningful work.
So, I dug deeper.
I started reflecting on the people I admire—the guests on podcasts I love, the authors I follow, the stories that inspire me. What defines their success? I noticed a pattern: they’re people who’ve taken bold steps to create something meaningful. They’ve harnessed creativity, solved important problems, and made an impact. Crucially, they’ve also built business models around their ideas—ways to sustain and grow their work.
And that’s where I’ve fallen short.
Many of my ideas and projects have been impactful, but most of them remain hobbies or volunteer efforts. They never cross the line into something bigger, something sustainable. I’ve realized that this is what’s been holding me back: the feeling of unfulfilled potential. I know I have big ideas in me, ideas that deserve to be actualized.
As I move into the second half of my life, I now know what I need to focus on to feel truly successful.
Two Practices to Guide Me Forward
Here are two changes I’m making to help me bridge the gap between where I am and where I want to be:
1. Focus on Habits, Not Just Goals
Every year, I’ve set goals. And every year, I’ve fallen short on many of them. It’s not that I lack motivation—I’m a hard worker—but after a few months, I often find myself slipping back into old habits.
James Clear’s Atomic Habits helped me understand why this happens:
“You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.”
In other words, goals are great for giving you direction, but it’s your daily habits—your systems—that determine whether you actually make progress.
This year, I’m trying something different. I still have goals, but they’re more like signposts showing me where I want to go. My main focus is on building the systems and habits that will make those goals happen naturally.
Here’s what I’m doing:
- Habit Stacking: I’m pairing new habits with existing ones. For instance, I’ve started a daily writing habit that I tie to my morning coffee ritual.
- Making Habits Simple and Rewarding: I’m designing my habits to be easy to follow and satisfying.
- Using Visual Reminders: For the first time, I’ve created a vision board. It’s displayed where I see it every day, reminding me of where I’m heading and keeping me motivated.
Interestingly, I also used ChatGPT to help refine my habits and brainstorm ideas for my vision board. If you’re curious about the prompts I used or want tips on creating your own, feel free to DM me or leave a comment—I’d love to share!
2. Seek Inspiration That Resonates
Another big realization I had was that I’ve been looking for inspiration in the wrong places.
I listen to a lot of podcasts and audiobooks because they’re perfect for busy days when I don’t have time to sit and read. But when I looked back, I noticed that most of my entrepreneurial inspiration has come from white, male voices in the U.S. While I’ve learned a lot from these stories, they don’t always feel relevant to my context.
This year, I’m making a conscious effort to find inspiration that resonates more deeply with me. I’m seeking out the stories of black African women in the diaspora—women who are navigating entrepreneurship while balancing marriage, motherhood, and cultural nuances. These voices feel closer to my reality, and I’m finding them both refreshing and actionable.
I’ll be sharing the gold nuggets I discover along the way, so stay tuned!
Moving Forward
As I reflect on the next phase of my life, I’m inspired by a quote from Myles Munroe:
“The wealthiest place on the planet is just down the road. It is the cemetery. There lie buried companies that were never started, inventions that were never made, bestselling books that were never written, and masterpieces that were never painted. In the cemetery is buried the greatest treasure of untapped potential.”
This quote has stayed with me. I don’t want to let my untapped potential stay buried. I want to create, build, and bring my ideas to life.
By focusing on habits, building the right systems, and drawing inspiration from relatable voices, I’m determined to make the second half of my life feel successful.
I hope you’ll keep me accountable. And if you’re on a similar journey, let’s do this together. Here’s to a fruitful year ahead!
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